The headlines tear to shreds my peaceful Advent journey. Small, innocent children and teachers are senselessly murdered in our country. God, where were you at Sandy Hook Elementary School? God, you whose eyes are on the sparrow, who sees and knows everything, where were you when the tormented young man left his home where he killed is mother and then entered the school and opened fire on innocent victims? It is unthinkable and my heart bleeds with the brokenhearted families who are reeling in pain and and whose lives will never be the same. I look for the "small sign" and can't seem to find it through my weeping.Maybe that is the small sign.
I return to the writing of Ann Weems who gives voice to anguish.
"Anger and alleluias careen around within me, sometimes colliding. Lamenting and laughter sit side by side in a heart that yearns for the peace that passes understanding. Those who believe in the midst of their weeping will know where I stand. In the quiet times this image comes to me: Jesus weeping. Jesus wept, and in his weeping, he joined himself forever to those who mourn. He stands now throughout all time, this Jesus weeping with his arms about the weeping ones: 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.' He stands with the mourners, for his name is God-with-us. Jesus wept. 'Blessed are those who weep, for they shall be comforted.' Someday. Someday God will wipe the tears from their eyes. In the godforsaken, obscene quicksand of life, there is a deafening alleluia rising from the souls of those who weep, and of those who weep with those who weep. If you watch, you will see the hand of God putting the stars back in their skies one by one."(from Psalms of Lament) Holy Infant Jesus, your tears are joined to mine. I hear the alleluias.